Fasting once again

After so many false starts, I am fasting again.  I recently read a book called The Fasting Path, by Steven Buhner.  It's one of the best books ever written to explain how to get motivated to fast, and the many benefits that accompany it. I was prompted through a dream several weeks prior to this time that I would be able to fast and be successful.  I started out with great hopes and needed to go to a funeral, which is a lousy place to fast, since getting together to mourn with those that mourn and those that need comfort usually entails a great deal of eating with friends. So after I returned from the funeral I wondered if I could pick up where I left off.  I knew what kind of resolve it takes to stay the course of anything, but fasting is huge!

One of the reasons I was really driven to stay on this fast was because I cannot eat.  I literally choke on everything that goes down my throat that isn't liquid.  I have only a very narrow channel down my esophagus called a Shotzki's ring, and it is so finicky that it became impossible to enjoy food.  Hence, it gave me the more necessary impetus to really fast.

I had been studying the benefits of water and juice fasting for years, and I am expecting some amazing miracles.  Since after the 3rd day of fasting the body goes into a state of ketosis, and begins to basically scavenge the dead cells, scar tissue, as well as heavy metals (which you can taste in your mouth as a metallic sort of feeling), parasites, poisons, old memories in the cells, etc., your body begins to produce ketones that the brain absolutely loves.  The liver loves to get rid of them, and it is the food for the glands in the brain, particularly the pineal gland.

The Pineal Gland, being called the 3rd eye, is responsible for lucid dreams, visions, and other things associated with spiritual experiences.  I can only surmise that the body knows exactly what to do to repair the body, especially when it is not busy digesting food.

Some years ago when I started my first long term, raw food fast, I was prompted to know that I would never be satisfied with the food of this earth again.  Ever since then I have been trying to lie to myself and make that not so, but since I haven't eaten anything in 12 days, and have no appetite, I have learned many reasons why the food of this earth, even if it were in its pristine condition, will not be sufficient for me any longer.

It is interesting that the Lord tells us that He is the bread of Life and will give to us the Living Water. When you think of the diet of processed foods that we are exposed to and liken it to the philosophies of men mingled with scripture, it is no wonder that I was told I would never be satisfied with that food again.  And I have and am not.

I have had much more clarity in my waking hours as well as in my sleep After the 5th day.  My senses have awoken to the messages my body is sending my brain. It is remarkable how much information I have been ignoring that has been in a constant stream to my consciousness, but I chose to cloak it with food, with media, with distractions.  I am aware of the motivation behind my food addictions that have beset me for years.  When I was younger and more active, I did not realize that my activities around food were to gather people together and share.

Not that sharing is a bad thing, because it is a wonderful thing, but communion with God is such a blessing that can come about from a fast, especially a longer one. I know there are millions of things we can fast about and fast from.  I'm so grateful I can have this experience.  I wonder what the future will hold that will be revealed to me.  No wonder that Alma waxed greater in the spirit of revelation and prophecy after fasting and praying much.  There are some amazing advantages.

But when thou fast anoint thy head

This last year has been filled with too many wonderful experiences to count.  I continue to recall the first 40 day fast in which I participated.  It has beautiful reminisces. There was a level of knowing that came to me through it.  I desire a greater understanding in my life of all things spiritual.  I seek that knowledge and wisdom through the fast.

During this last year I felt prompted to study olives, olive oil,  and olive trees.  I learned much about the product of the tree, the soil and temperature the trees grow in, and above all else, I gained for myself an understanding of the power of pure virgin, cold pressed olive oil.  If nothing else, I have begun the habit of daily drinking 2 tablespoons of the pungent dark green oil.  Regular ingestion of olive oil helps to prevent dementia and can reverse the process of brain decay. There are lists of benefits from exposure to olive oil, both inside and outside the body.

What, you might ask, does this have to do with the fast.

One of the things instructed by the Savior while he gave the information we have coined as the Sermon on the Mount was in preparation of the fast.

But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thy head, and wash thy face.

I have learned much through my preparation for fasting.  The lessons go deep. The fast usually happens days before I begin the actual process of focusing on Heaven and my communion with the Lord; it is long before I cease the food intake.  On the day I begin my fast I have already prepared by envisioning  myself in prayer when the thought or temptation of a meal takes over. That's another subject, but I digress.

I want to focus on the part about anointing the head.  But first I will take a minute to explain the ritual performed in the temple for anointing the head.

When a blessing is given with oil set apart for that purpose, it is placed on the crown of the head.  When the other anointing is performed in a temple today, different parts of the head are anointed.  The eyes, ears, nose, mouth are also anointed along with the crown or the forehead.  There are promised blessings that are pronounced on each organ. These are gifts to the individual who is being anointed.

I have spent a great deal of time over the last 4 years studying gifts, and especially those of Charity, being the pure love of Christ, as well as the other gifts of the spirit.  I have also learned for myself the great gulf, or perhaps in better words, the lack of understanding that we have in the Christian world for the Divine Feminine and the connection of the gifts with Her.  This Divine Feminine has many names: The Queen of Heaven, El Shaddai, and Eloah to mention just a few. All these names indicate the Divine Feminine as the consort of God, His wife. She is called Wisdom.  Evidently, and more obviously, it is due to our lack of understanding of her existence, her presence, her greatness, and her characteristics that cause us as humans on this earth to be in a most sorry state.

Most of the writings describing her and her place in the Heavens were purposely extricated by the Deuteronomists. In place of the mention and love of the Heavenly Mother, a book of rules, called Deuteronomy, were put in place of the book of Enoch, and a darkness came over the minds and hearts of the people.  Artifacts in the temple were destroyed by the young and easily manipulated King Josiah. Jeremiah talks of the evil and destruction that come upon the people because of the removal of her in the temples and scripture. Isaiah speaks of the lack of blessings, even the cursings that follow the people because of this act of wicked and conspiring men.

It has been a tragic loss, but thank goodness for Bible scholars who have made it their lives work to comb the other books of scripture that are missing from the Bible to teach us more about Wisdom, and her far reaching love and effects.

You can gain this knowledge for yourself, if you desire.  One of the best books to begin this research is called The Mother of the Lord, Volume I, by Margaret Barker.  It is a very well researched book, and may become your pillow for a season.  At the very least, it will open the eyes of your understanding to a situation that you may not have known existed for millennia.

Back to the anointing before the fast.

Olive oil was the oil used for anointing. It has some very amazing properties. On page 191 of The Olive Odyssey, by Julie Angus, we learn:

Olive oil has the same fat composition as mother’s milk. The ratio of essential fatty acids, linolenic, and linolenic acids is nearly identical.  Italian mothers feed their babies olive oil. . . . Pregnant and lactating mothers who consumed olive oil had bigger and more coordinated babies.

Olive Oil has a greater purpose than we pronounce upon it.  And it is interesting that it has corresponding gifts that a mother would provide to her child. Any nursing mother would have her baby be comforted, fed, nourished, and loved each time she feeds the babe.  This same list of feeding and nourishment is also attributed to the Lord, but He is only doing what he has seen done by his parents, particularly a Heavenly Mother.

Wisdom is a feminine virtue, and receiving wisdom has been the saving grace for all people on the earth at all time. 

The gifts conferred with anointing all transformed ways of knowing and perceiving. Vision is the first effect from anointing.

Isaiah speaks a great deal about the inability of people looking and not seeing, listening, but not hearing.  He speaks of fat hearts, and other supposed physical maladies.  But he is not referring to congestive heart failure, nor prescriptive lenses; he is referring to a condition that makes people less able to understand and comprehend the word of the Lord.  He is talking about people in a condition of the carnal man.  Nothing removes this situation as quickly as a heavy dose of Wisdom, and that can be achieved with a fast unto the Lord.

I have inserted pages 104-106 of Mother of the Lord, by Margaret Barker to give a greater understanding of the power of the anointing.

In his (Jerome on the Gospel of the Hebrews) commentary on Isaiah 11:9 he also noted that in the Gospel of the Hebrews, Jesus spoke of ‘My mother the holy Spirit.’ The early Church then, understood the manifold Spirit, which Isaiah calls ‘the Spirit of the Lord’, not as a spirit from the Lord, but as the Spirit that transformed the recipient into the Lord, or, as here, the son of god who reigned forever.  The Spirit was his Mother, and the imagery is from the royal cult.  John’s Jesus spoke in the same way, about being born from above, [or born again] to be able to see the Kingdom, and being born of water and Spirit to be able to enter the Kingdom (John 3:3-5).

The manifold Spirit gave wisdom, understanding, counsel, might, knowledge and the fear of the Lord.  It transformed human perception and would reverse the punishment described in Isaiah’s temple vision: minds and ears and eyes that could no longer understand and hear and see.  The Targum described the Spirit bearer as the Messiah, and even though anointing is not mentioned in Isaiah 11, this passage does describe the effect of anointing.

A line omitted by the AV and said to be an addition due to dittography describes the perfume of the Spirit bearer. ‘And his delight shall be in the fear of the Lord’ (Isa. 11:3, RSV) should be, ‘And his perfume shall be the fear of the Lord.’ The word translated ‘delight’, normally means perfume and in some instances, the perfume of the anointing oil. . .The most likely origin of this imagery is temple ritual, where anointing conferred the Name, and so the Spirit/Name bearer had the perfume of his anointing.  Then he no longer judged with his own (human) eyes, and did not make decisions after hearing with (human) ears (Isa. 11:3).

The gifts of the spirit are the elements of Wisdom (see Moroni 7:45).

*The first gift to the Anointed One was Wisdom, which speaks for itself

*The second and fifth gifts were understanding and knowledge, which were the definition of wise teachings to know, wisdom, and instruction for understanding

*The third gift, counsel, looks very like the word for tree.

*The fourth gift was might, almost the same as the title ‘Great Lady’ usually translated queen mother.  The spirit of counsel and might was wordplay on the ‘the Spirit of the Tree and the Great Lady.’

*The sixth and last gift was the fear of the Lord’, a phrase that occurs many times in the Hebrew Scriptures, and is appropriate in this context.  It is found in parallel to ‘good understanding’ (Ps. 111:10) and is in parallel to ‘the knowledge of the Holy One is insight’ (Prov. 1:7) The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge (Prov. 14:27).

Now, ‘the fear of the Lord’ may mean exactly that, but it is possible that the phrase in some instances has replaced a similar but controversial phrase, ‘the vision of the Lord’.  In Hebrew, these two words are very similar.  The gifts of the Spirit would then include the greatest gift of all: the gift of vision, especially the vision of the Lord.  In fact, ‘vision’ is a conspicuous omission from this list, since vision was the first effect of anointing.

I can tell you with plain language that my desire to fast for this blessing was not well defined to my spirit.  But as I have sought an audience with the Lord, I have been led closer and closer to the blessings of the fast and the preparation thereof.

I now must be patient and endure it well.  I will anoint my head with oil and begin.

Bird Food

For the last 10 years I have been studying light and patterns of light.  I was bit by the Chiasmaniac devil, something like the Tasmanian devil, some years ago.  I started to see chiasms everywhere.  I found it in the Articles of Faith, it is all over the place in the Book of Mormon, and it is also in the beautiful chapter on fasting in Isaiah 58.  So what does this all have to do with the fast.  Well, it has to do with the blessings that are promised in the law of the fast more than anything else. It has to do with getting more light.

If we were to ponder a few things that are pertinent here, it is that fasting is not all about obstaining from food.  In fact, in the JST in the New Testament, (Matt 4:1, 2) the scriptures say that the Savior went to the wilderness to be with God. And when he had communed with God, he was afterwards an hungered, and was left to be tempted of the devil.  The bible says he fasted forty days and forty nights, but the JST only mentions that he went to be with God. I guess he didn't even feel the need to eat.  I believe he was living on light, and that has been proven to be possible by the Jainists anyway.

When we commune with God, we feast on the light He provides us.  We have no need for food.  But being in an earthly state it takes some kind of change on our body to be able to endure the presence of God, as Moses said. So what do we have to do to have those changes take place?

Well, we have to be filled with as much light as possible.  How do we do that? We can fast, and we can also eat foods that are full of life and light.  You might ask, "What kinds of foods are those?"

I wrote a number of years ago about Daniel and his companions eating pulse.  Pulse is food that is alive.  It consists of fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds.

It took me a little while to put two and two together, in fact it took me several years.  I was doing some research from Emanuel Swedenborg and he was talking about correspondences.  He indicated that birds are the correspondence of angels.  Angels have a higher vibratory level than we do.  They give off more light than we do and they do not have a body any longer.

So what about birds and why are angels compared to birds? People have been claiming angels have wings for centuries.  I don't believe that is how they ambulate, but that is another conversation entirely.

Well, pulse is bird food.  Yep, it is the food that birds eat that give them life and fill them with light.  They eat seeds and grains, fruits and vegetables, and occasionally they have been know to eat meat, with the exception of birds of prey.  It is exactly this same food that has such a high alkaline level that keeps you filled with light when you eat it.  Fruits and veggies have seeds that can reproduce.  Seeds and grains are also alive. I believe consuming this food prepares us for a higher vibratory level as well.

If the Lord gave Daniel a food code to help him keep his closeness with Heaven through a higher vibration, then it goes to show you that God will always provide a way for us to be closer to Him, even when we are eating, which we seem to be in need of while in this earthly state.

So, on to the Word of Wisdom.  The food that the Lord has prescribed for us to eat with thanksgiving is that same prescription he gave to Daniel---it is bird food.

This food that He has provided prepares our body for more and more light.  When we partake of living food, our alkaline level is higher and we have the capacity to absorb more and more light.

Isn't that what the promise in the scriptures is?  Isn't it so we can be in the presence of God and not shrink?  Isn't fasting more about putting away the things of this world for the things of a better, which is being filled with more and more light until the perfect day?

Is there any better thing that being able to be with God?  In the flesh? Just like the scriptures promise?

This small thing was pointed out to me by a friend recently, when she said that she believe the Word of Wisdom was given to us to prepare us to stand in God's presence.  I believe she was right on the money.

That gut feeling

Last month I was hit with a great and surprising experience: I had an attack in my bowels that required major emergency surgery.  I was left without a portion of my lower intestine because it became twisted and began to hemorrhage.  It would have ended my life were it not removed.

During my recovery process I began in earnest to study bowels in the scripture.  I was taken aback by the great wealth of information that was available in very few passages of scripture.

I looked up the word bowels, both in scripture and in the Collaborative International Dictionary of English.  Here is a part of what I found:

Bowels are defined in several ways.  They are considered the interior of something or the seat of pity or kindness. Shakespeare defines them as offspring (which comes from scriptures numerous times).  Medically speaking it is called the part of the alimentary canal between the stomach and the anus.

The scriptures tell us some interesting information regarding bowels.  In 1 Kings 3:26 we read, Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it.  But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thing, but divide it.  Here we see the wise King Solomon witness the true love of a mother.

Job state in Job 30:27: My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me.

We get some additional information of the function of emotion in the bowels in Psalms 22:14: I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels. Here we have an understanding of the emotions of our hearts felt throughout our bowels.

Isaiah teaches us again of the amazing power of the bowels in Isaiah 63:15: Look down from heaven, and behold from the habitation of thy holiness and of thy glory: where is thy zeal and thy strength, the sounding of thy bowels and of thy mercies toward me? are they restrained?  Certainly everyone has heard their stomach growl.

Lamentations teaches us in Lam. 1:20: Behold, O Lord, for I am in distress: my bowels are troubled; mine heart is turn within me…

I learned the bowels yearn, boil sound and are troubled.  Gold and silver cannot fill the bowels, they are filled and moved with compassion and with mercy; they can be full of charity.

God's bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Even the voice of the earth came from her bowels as she bemoaned the awful situation of the wickedness upon and within her. Paul greatly longs after the saints in the bowels of Jesus Christ.  Even the testimony of Ezekiel teaches us something about the word of God and the effect on the bowels.

Ezekiel 3:3
And he said unto me, Son of man, cause thy belly to eat, and fill thy bowels with this roll that I give thee. Then did I eat it; and it was in my mouth as honey for sweetness. In this spiritual experience, the food that was given to Ezekiel to eat was scripture, and it was sweet to him, just as Joseph Smith said the truth was delicious.

The bowels are filled with brain neurons.  The bowels send off 9 times as many signals to the body as does the brain.  Just imagine how many times you have that “gut feeling” and disregarded it. And think of all the things you feel to do, whether you believe it is initiated in your head or not.  The bowels are a source of inspiration, and certainly far more than we give credit.

Our bowels are a seat of indescribable power to us if we will allow them to be so.  On an emotional level, it requires honesty to one’s self to benefit from the messages the bowels are sending off. Physically it is nearly impossible to do anything without the use of your bowels and the muscles surrounding them.  Take my word for it.  You cannot even stand up straight nor walk without healthy bowels.

There were several connections to bowels and fasting that I wanted to share here, since I wonder if you are asking the question, “What does this have to do with the Law of the Fast?”

While during my recuperation, I could not eat solid foods.  For 2 days I was only on water.  After that, food was difficult for me to have any interest in and was not assimilated well for nearly a month.  So I learned about the ability of the gut to be able to discern many things, especially when there was no substance in it. I felt a yearning in me for nourishment, but I knew that it was not going to be something I could physically eat.  I was seeking for a higher level of nourishment that could satisfy me.

Several months ago I received a blessing that I would be more empathetic.  The part of my bowel that was removed had been flopping around all my life.  I never had the necessary ligature to hold it in place, and perhaps that would explain why I had vacillated in so many things throughout me life.  But since that part of my bowel is gone, I find that I am much more stable in my thought processes.  I find myself focusing on the needs of others is a more constant desire and process for me.  I am focused on them to a much greater degree.  Interesting for me. 

I have also noted how much more I feel after people that I see, and I see plenty of them.  I drive my car as a taxi in San Francisco nearly every day.  I see so many people in such dire circumstances, as well as hear the stories of many people whose lives are filled with pain; they are without Christ or God in the world.  Oh, I am so saddened for them.  Sometimes I can listen and encourage them towards the Savior.  Others I am left with my only other resource, all I can do is pray for them.

Through this process I came upon a scripture that moved me greatly.  In the JST John 4:31-34 it reads:

In the meantime his disciples prayed him, saying, Master, eat. 

But he said unto them, I have meat to eat that ye know no of.

Therefore said the disciples one to another, Hath any man brought him meat to eat?

Jesus said unto them, “My meat is to do the will of him who sent me and finish his work.”

Jesus was teaching us a profound truth.  He was fasting at this time.  Our meat, the food that we need in our lives to nourish us more than anything, is to do the will of the Father.

Could the act of fasting to relieve the bowels of the labor of digestion be to our greater benefit so that we could feel after our brethren and lift those with the feeble knees and the hands that hang down, or to help the widow and the orphan?  Could our bowels be speaking to us more than we recognize but because we have become so engrossed in the process of searching for the food of this earth instead of that of a better world be keeping us down when we want to ascend?

I find it most interesting that we learn such a great deal from such a little sentence.  Fasting is such a blessing to our bodies and our souls.  I am determined in a different was to understand the yearnings of my bowels.  I do not desire to have them boil, but to have them full of charity, to refresh my bowels in the Lord.

May I encourage you to find the time to study bowels and fasting in the same vein.  You will be greatly blessed.

No one knows victory like one who has suffered defeat.
No one knows the feelings of being fed like one who has suffered starvation, in any form or fashion.

Remember the woman at the well.  She found out about living water.  She definitely wanted some.  Christ told her she would never thirst again.  Think of it--a commodity that would save her hours every day walking back and forth to the well in Samaria where she had to go to get water for her family. He had a bigger lesson for her to learn about water than transport.

In the JST John 4:6-34, it reads:
And he said unto his disciples, I must needs go through Samaria.

One day we would have this knowledge, but it began with a lesson to a woman in great need and spread throughout the world.

Then he cometh to the city of Samaria, which is called Sychar, near to the parcel of ground which Jacob gave to his son, Joseph; the place where Jacob's well was.

Now Jesus being weary with the journey, it being about the sixth hour, sat down on the well.

And there came a woman of Samaria to draw water; Jesus said unto her, give me to drink.

Now his disciples were gone away into the city to buy meat.

Wherefore, he being alone, the woman of Samaria said unto him, How is it that thou being a Jew asketh drink of me, who am a woman of Samaria?  The Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.

Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.

The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water? (Logical question and great observation)

Art thou greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle?

Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever shall drink of this well shall thirst again:

But whosoever drinketh of the water which I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

The woman said unto him, Sir, give me of this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.

Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither.

The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband:

For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet.

Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.

Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father.

Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: and salvation is of the Jews.

And the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.

For unto such hath God promised his Spirit: and they who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.

The woman sad unto him, I know that Messias cometh, who is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things.

Jesus said unto her, I who speak unto thee am the Messias.

And upon this came his disciples, and marvelled that he talked with the woman: yet no man said, What seekest thou? or, Why talkest thou with her?

The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men,

Come, see a man, who told me all things that I have ever done: is not this the Christ?

Then they went out of the city, and came unto him.

In the meantime while his disciples prayed him, saying, Master, eat.

But he said unto them, I have meat to eat that ye know not of.

Therefore said the disciples one to another, Hath any man brought him ought to eat?

Jesus sad unto them, My meat is to do the will of him who sent me, and to finish his work.

There are quite a number of feasting/fasting lessons here that I saw.
Isn't it interesting that the Savior, being the bread of life and the living water, is constantly teaching these men where their real meal is, and for some reason this knowledge is constantly going over their heads.  Off to the market they go to find meat to buy, when they could sit at the feet of the Bread of Life and drink of Living water and be filled, and they will not.  Are we so different than they?

The woman catches on rapidly that tradition, Jacob's well, supposedly the source of living water, is symbolic.  It is Christ himself that is offering the greatest drink this woman has ever drunk.

The better meal that is there for all of us is the will of God.  It is Christ who told his disciples that his meat is to the do the will of him who sent even Jesus Christ.  Doing his will filled him up, so evidently when we get the word of God to each of us, for God will give his precious word to each and every one of us, and it will fill us each individually, we will be fed.

Will doing the will of God, recognizing the author and finisher of our faith, be sufficient to fill our spiritual bellies and give us the satisfaction that earthly food will never offer?  Is this one of the larger reasons we are encouraged to fast? so we can tell the difference between man's will and God's? Man's idea of food and the real meal? Will this actually allow us to be found in a different space where the real feast is?

Can someone know this who has not tasted it?  Good question for someone who decides to put the fast to the test.

Faith and Fasting

Power in the world is obviously the main focus of Satan.  So said, now I will proceed to tell you of the journey I have been having to right my foolish and vain misunderstandings so that I can have that which is of the most worth.  I clearly see that it is not power in this world, unless it is to overcome everything that is in my path and overcome Satan to reach a place with Christ.

My desire to fast and learn from my fasting has changed and increased in intensity over the last 3 years.  I have learned so much that it seems a very small thing what I knew about it in the beginning.

My fasting exposure began as a little girl in church.  We were given the opportunity to participate in a group fast in our ward body once a month for 2 meals.  I do not ever remember doing this until I reached my 30’s.  I have no idea why that was, but the necessity and importance of it never seemed to reach home.

When I saw this invitation to aid others, I still did not fast for that reason. I did want to show my love for God, and I did want to show obedience to Him through the fast, so I would fast frequently for other things, but it would be nearly 30 years more before I recognized that there was power behind the fast. Whatever that was, I wanted to participate more fully in it.  Even today I have another reason for it.

Over the last 20 years I have been given what most people would call a second chance.  I will not go into it at this point, but it is not difficult to see that the Lord blessed me abundantly and I have had the opportunity to repeat some steps in my life where I had not stayed on the path.  Still, I have failed in so many ways, but I stayed closer to the path through it all.

Getting older, slower and hopefully wiser in the journey has also helped me to see the blessings from the Lord.  But I can see, in retrospect, that fasting has cleared my mind and heart from much of the clutter of false beliefs and doubt, as well as taught me many things.  Was it the fast, or was it the Lord being able to access me in greater ways through my fast?  I think it the latter.

I have felt the desire of late to learn more of keeping the first 2 great commandments.  I don’t know how much people really think about them in any kind of depth, and can only ponder upon that question in this fashion because of my lack of depth in the consideration of what God calls the first 2 GREAT commandments.

I have spent many, many hours in contemplation of what it means to love God and my neighbor. I was recently asked to come to the aid of 2 people I knew very little. I was supported by others who I know very little, who supplanted my efforts with the expenses of the ticket. It cost a great deal of money for me to access these people in need, and my other friends all stepped up to the plate with the necessary funds to fly me very far away to this family’s aid.  I definitely felt the Lord in it, but I can honestly say that I felt much like Jonah going to Nineveh. 

I can truthfully say that the Lord will always, if we are so inclined, give us the desire of our hearts, especially if it is in His great and glorious plan of Happiness. I have felt to be ALL the Lord would have me be.  I see more closely that I am so much less than I had ever imagined.  But I can see that through the period of time I have been involved in studying the fast, and every single little attempt I make at fasting (sometimes I do not stay on my fast as long as I had hoped), the blessings continue to pour out upon me as well as those I have prayed for.

One thing is for sure, I have been lacking in faith.  I am well acquainted with the story of the man who asks for a blessing of the Savior for his child.  For the purpose of greater explanation, I include the entire event mentioned in Mark 9:17-29.

And one of the multitude answered and said, Master, I have brought unto thee my son, which hath a dumb spirit; And wheresoever he taketh him, he teareth him: and he foameth, and gnasheth with his teeth, and pineth away: and I spake to thy disciples that they should cast him out; and they could not.

He answereth him, and saith, O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I suffer you? Bring him unto me.

And they brought him unto him: and when he saw him, straightway the spirit tare him; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming.

And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child. And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.

Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. When Jesus saw that the people came running together, he rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him, and enter no more into him. And the spirit cried, and rent him sore, and came out of him: and he was as one dead; insomuch that many said, He is dead. But Jesus took him by the hand, and lifted him up; and he arose. And when he was come into the house, his disciples asked him privately, Why could not we cast him out? And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.

I look at the many different things that happened in this, and seek to liken it unto my own experiences and understanding.

What could be more apparent to us all, who seek to draw closer to the Lord, the great amount of darkness within us that causes us to subject ourselves to all manner of pain and hurt, whether it be in the company of seen or unseen individuals, poisoned media and music, toxic substances we either ingest or expose ourselves to without even knowing; all these things bring harm to our bodies and our spirits.

There is no doubt about the fact that these things have been coming upon us from the time we were little children, sometimes by well meaning parents, but regardless of how they have entered our lives, they have caused us to pine away and tear at our hearts.  They would cloud the very thought of loving our God and our neighbor, let alone our spouses, children and friends.

I speak from personal experience in all these fields.  It has only been in the last little while as I have pled with the Lord to teach me how to keep these 2 great commandments, to show me what it means to truly love Him and his precious children, that I have seen how blinded I have been from my youth.

I remember the words to a song I told my friend about the other day.

You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught , From South Pacific, Rogers and Hammerstein

You've got to be taught

To hate and fear,

You've got to be taught

From year to year,

It's got to be drummed

In your dear little ear

You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid

Of people whose eyes are oddly made,

And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,

You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,

Before you are six or seven or eight,

To hate all the people your relatives hate,

You've got to be carefully taught!

I was carefully taught all this darkness, which has been as a dumb and deaf spirit within me.  Think how many times Isaiah invites us to wake up, to rise up, to have our eyes and our ears opened. Certainly all of us who have bought into any of the world’s darkness have been possessed to some degree with deaf, dumb, and blind spirits.

I too cried out, just as the father of this bewildered and tortured boy, ‘Oh, Help thou mine unbelief!’

To my joy I can report that my pleas did not go unanswered, but came, as blessings always do, with love and peace.

I was reading in Jakob Lorber’s, The Great Gospel of John, book 5, (http://www.jakob-lorber.cc/index.php?s=raphael+blind&l=en&b= ) where an angel is instructing a newly converted atheist about loving one’s brother to the point of blessing him with healings.

Raphael, the angel, states:

"Suppose you wanted to give the eyesight back to a blind person through the power of the divine will within you, but you might at the same time doubt a little in its success, then that is already greatly mistaken; for the blind man will not achieve sight in this way. But if you are moved in the love for God most powerfully, this highest fire of love and life will not only animate your soul most powerfully, but instead it will spread spiritually far above your sphere of form with an irresistible all-power and there it will work in a very concentrated way wherever your divine will has naturally seized something with all wisdom and intelligence. If then the blind man is seized by your divine will of God and immediately placed in the focal point of the all-powerful love of God, of whom your soul is full, he must also stand there in an instant as perfectly seeing; for in the highest light and fire of love and life from God every death must give in, even that of an eye which has died to light, which naturally is as good as dead without light as the whole body without breath and pulse. Thereby then the awakening of a deceased person is made possible in an instant; for if the divine will which fills your heart, and its wisdom are not against the reawakening of some dead person, you only need to place the dead person under the burning centre of your love for the Lord God and he will live again perfectly!

Never did I understand the greater importance of love than when I read this beautiful example.  No wonder God wants us to love! No wonder this is the crux of the great commandments! It is the greatest power, one that heals and one that can create, both worlds as well as true happiness.

I need to have this love, to understand this love, to feel this love.  I want more than anything to be possessed of this love.

I came across an interesting part of a book describing faith.  Here is a quote from the book:

Faith to be real must be outside the limits of caution, and be fired by something more potent and effective than calculating prudence, or logical deduction, or judicial impartiality.  It must be the fire that burns within, the mainspring that regulates the life, the overmastering force that will not be at rest. This is what braves death and torture, braces up the feeble knees for long and hard endurance, and conducts its possessor safe at last through any perils that may assail him to the goal where faith finds its rewards in fruition.

I love the words of the Prophet, Joseph Smith, when he speaks of faith.  He explains in Lecture 6, verse 7;

Let us here observe, that a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation; for, from the first existence of man, the faith necessary unto the enjoyment of life and salvation never could be obtained without the sacrifice of all earthly things. It was through this sacrifice, and this only, that God has ordained that men should enjoy eternal life; and it is through the medium of the sacrifice of all earthly things that men do actually know that they are doing the things that are well pleasing in the sight of God. When a man has offered in sacrifice all that he has for the truth's sake, not even withholding his life, and believing before God that he has been called to make this sacrifice because he seeks to do his will, he does know, most assuredly, that God does and will accept his sacrifice and offering, and that he has not, nor will not seek his face in vain. Under these circumstances, then, he can obtain the faith necessary for him to lay hold on eternal life.

Evidently faith and fasting have a huge, dependent relationship, especially when it is couple with love, the active ingredient that makes all things work together for our good.  If my fasting has brought me anything, it has taught me every time I endeavor to lengthen my stride in the observance of my fast, to feel the Spirit of the Lord by my side, I learn that He is ever present with me.  As I look at my life in retrospect, I can see the some of the results from my fasting.  I feel enlightened by the darkness and deafness, and especially the blindness in my ability to understand God.  I see Him so much more real and alive in my life.

He is teaching me about love.  He is teaching me about faith, the real faith that breaks mountains, heals the blind, the deaf, the dumb, and all manner of other miraculous dealings.  They are a product first of love of God and our belief in His matchless power.

Today I can say with great humility how grateful I am for the law of the fast in my life.  I look forward anxiously for the future.

Some of you might be aware that I have been taking bee pollen now for over 17 weeks.  That may or may not be of any significance to anyone, but it is applicable to the fast.  A darling young lady who goes by the name of Duck, asked me if I had seen a particular site that talks about fasting as being something not to just deprive ourselves of food, but to enact a change in a community, especially to change a relationship with God. (www.thepearl.org/Fasting.htm)

When I was in Utah last month I met with an amazing healer named Don Miller.  He is in Southern Utah in Sanpete county.  He was doing some muscle testing and told me that I measured higher in the level of Christ light than anyone he had ever tested.

My only response was that I have been taking bee pollen.  I have been diligent about it now for a very long time.  In the period of time I have been taking it, my vibrational level has not only increased, but it is more than stabalized.  I am happy, and have been so for months.  

I have suffered from depression for years, but did not realize it until this level of happiness has overcome the large dips in my moods.  I am having more peaks than valleys, and the journey does not seem to overcome me.

That is just one of the things that has taken place, but it is so noticable to my family that I had to make a note of it.

When people are seeking the higher Christ light in their lives, they are able to actually raise the vibration level of their entire community.